New MP Starter Pack!

Congratulations to Edward Timpson MP on finally arriving at the House of Commons, please finds enclosed a link to the John Lewis website.

Everything is on the house!

How to save the BBC £1m?

Would Jonathan Ross have worked less hard if he was only earning £17m over three years at the BBC!?!

How ironic that a left-wing organisation sees nothing wrong with wealth re-distribution from the poorest TV licence payers to millionaire entertainers!

Religious leaflets

Would Muslims leafleting an area 'where many Christians live' ever be advised by Police to leave the area saying "If you come back here and get beat up, well you have been warned."

It's far more likely that Police would provide additional protection so they could carry on their lawful business!

PS Does Naved Siddiqi, of the Islamic Society of Britain, consider East Birmingham to be one of the "No-Go areas" that the Bishop of Rochester, the Right Reverend Dr Michael Nazir-Ali, referred to earlier this year!?!

Smoking policy stinks!

If Government is determined to stop under-age smoking, why not fine the parents of those caught smoking rather than ban cigarette vending machines, packets of 10 and, unbelievably, branding and logos!?!

Police targets

Is is easier for Police to fine insured and licensed middle-class drivers or track down and prosecute uninsured or unlicensed drivers!?!

Infamy, Infamy!

Will a new Government campaign against knife crime reduce the chances that Gordon Brown will be stabbed in the back by worried Labour backbenchers!?!

Soft capital punishment?

If the courts believe that some people "deserve" to die because they are abusive or racist, why doesn't it apply to those convicted of murder or rape!?!

"A former hospital cook who baked a fruitcake laced with rat poison for her husband has been given a 12-month suspended prison sentence. "

"A Muslim elder who stabbed his neighbour in the back was dramatically cleared of murder yesterday after a court was told that he had endured a living hell of racism, threats and violence."

"Brown to meet oil industry chiefs"

"Please, please, please, increase the oil supply so that drivers don't notice my October tax increase, please, please, please"

PS If Gordon Brown has any 'green' credentials, he would welcome recent oil price increases as it encourage people to use fuel more efficiently!

Carbon Allowance

Would a personal carbon allowance include cremation!?!

Every little hurts!

How will MPs keep site of "the environment agenda" when they might award themselves an automatic tax free lump sum of £23,000 a year for second homes!?!

Lesser mortals will be expected to pay for increased fuel costs out of their existing taxed incomes!

Inconvenient Truth?

Did the BBC initially suspect that Amar Aslam was murdered by a group of white thugs in a "sustained and brutal" racist attack in Dewsbury and expect events to justify their suspicions!?!

"I can now confirm that the three men who are in custody are actually all Asian, which means that the race motive so far, perhaps, is not one that might be the cause of the death." - Dewsbury MP Shahid Malik - Version 15 of the BBC's report.

Knives out

Would banning the open display of knives for sale in shops prevent knife crime in the UK!?!

If England's first Children's Commissioner is worried that additional stop-and-searches could antagonize the young, when will unelected officials fret that speed cameras might antagonize drivers!?!

"Another aggravating feature is, what arrogance. The arrogance exemplified by your hand gestures [ V-signs] to the camera as you sped past it." - Judge Barbara Mensah

Dead Man Walking

"So what's it like to be stabbed in the back by your party!?!"

Tax credit income disregard!?!

How has HMRC managed to save the taxpayer £700m by reducing tax credit overpayments last year?

Simple, by increasing the so-called "tax credit income disregard" from £2,500 to £25,000 before an overpayment is recognised!

Toughly, toughly approach!

Did the reputation of Russia's Police and prisons ensure that neither Manchester United or Chelsea fans misbehaved in Moscow last night?

By contrast, "a decade-long government drive to cut youth offending has had "no measurable impact" in the UK!

Orwellian Doctrine?

What are the chances that MPs (and their families) would be exempt from a proposed new database that would contain details of every phone call and email sent in the UK!?!

"MPs are not supposed to be bugged, according to the so-called "Wilson doctrine"."

Agency workers

"Agency workers will be given the same employment rights as permanent staff after 12 weeks under proposals agreed between the government and unions."

How many of the UK's 1.4m agency workers asked to be represented by the trades unions!?!

Will most agency workers now be forced to leave their placing during their eleventh working week!?!

What's the trades unions real motive for protecting workers rights!?!

Education standards

Will education standards improve simply by raising pay levels or by sacking useless teachers and replacing them!?!

"20% of pupils go from primary to secondary not fully functional in literacy and numeracy" - Ofsted chief Christine Gilbert.

Schools should be able to determine their own pay rates for teachers. Private companies do!

The only way to identify when state education standards are genuinely improving will be when the number of pupils attending private schools shows a steady decline over time!

Making work pay?

How many new jobs would be created if incapacity benefits were reduced to the national minimum wage?

"Of the minority who said they would like a job, about a third of men and one in six women said they would need at least £300 a week after tax to make it worthwhile coming off benefits and going in to work."

Employers of unskilled labour are being priced out of the labour market as they cannot compete with the benefits available to unskilled labour!

Great leaders on adversity

"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat." - Winston Churchill.

"I have nothing to offer but taxes, taxes, taxes and taxes." - Gordon Brown perhaps!

PS When will Gordon Brown let the people decide if he's the best person to "steer the economy through difficult times"!?!

Listen and lead?

How many of the voters in the Crewe and Nantwich by-election are demanding reforms to the House of Lords as proposed in the next Queen's Speech!?!

It's barely a couple of days since Gordon Brown had said he would "listen and lead" the British public!

Number crunching

£6.5bn: Revenue raised from residential Stamp Duty last year.

£100m: Government help offered to first time buyers in the next Queen's speech.

PS Is it appropriate for the Government to encourage first time buyers when house prices are starting to fall!?!

Undercover Mosque

Will West Midlands Police and the Crown Prosecution Service now prosecute the Imams featured in "Undercover Mosque" after they have apologised to the documentary makers who they originally condemned for misrepresentation and misleading editing!?!

Number Crunching

£3.1bn: Cost of Conservative inheritance tax proposals condemned by Chancellor Alistair Darling as "an example of where the Tories are making promises on tax which they can't afford to pay for" in October 2007. "If you do that, you create the very instability which is the last thing the economy needs and people in this country would pay for that."

£2.7bn: Unfunded income tax cuts proposed by Chancellor Alistair Darling eight months later. "the measures would be funded through borrowing so as not to take money out of the economy while it was slowing."

Social Care

As Scottish Prime Minister Gordon Brown has no responsibility for social care provision in Scotland since devolution, why is he worried about social care in Britain as opposed to just England!?!

PS Number crunching!

£6bn social care shortfall in England within 20 years.

£6bn Annual UK contribution to the European Union from 2011.

Ethnic tensions

Will the Department for Communities ever suggest that the best way to reduce local tensions caused by "rising migration and diversity" would be to reduce immigration!?!

"It calls on local officials to plan against tensions by:

Properly understanding who is living in the local area

Working with a wider range of people to better monitor local trends

Making better use of local intelligence, including warning signs from community workers

Learning how to counter rumours of scaremongering which lead to violent clashes

"

Brown mouse

Does Gordon Brown have the power or support to do "whatever is necessary" to preserve the United Kingdom!?!

He is a spent force in British politics.

Air heads!

Are domestic airside workers being discriminated against if they have to undergo criminal records checks that are "too long and too complex" to be carried out for foreign workers!?!

Number Crunching

33% - Confiscation rate for assets of convicted drugs dealer.

40% - Higher rate income tax.

BNP voters

Has anyone welcomed the election of a BNP member to the London Assembly as a victory for democracy and proportional representation!?!

Why should 130,417 voters be denied representation!?! They have as much right to be represented as any other voters whether you consider their politics to be distasteful or not.

They polled twice as many votes as George Galloway's Respect and were only 75,000 votes behind those crazy Greens! The same greens that the major political parties are all trying to embrace!

Personality defects?

Which Labour MPs have personality defects!?!

"There isn't - outside of those who have their own personal malice towards Gordon or indeed the odd ones with personality defects - a challenge against Gordon Brown." - Tony Lloyd, chairman of the Parliamentary Labour Party!

Politics of the snake?

How will Gordon Brown possibly reassure Labour backbenchers that he can lead them to success!?!

Labour face a double whammy of electoral defeat. They are unable to appeal to floating voters thanks to rampant tax increases and have shed too many of their core voters due to devolution and immigration.

Labour backbenchers are finally facing up to the fact that they cannot be replaced, unlike a snake!

In the Name of God, Go!

It's great waking up to discover that you are not alone in despising Gordon Brown!

"Labour is on course to suffer its worst performance in at least 40 years in the local elections in England and Wales."

Unions strike back!

If workers should not suffer when management make mistakes, should workers benefit when management do well!?!

"The workforce did not contribute to the situation which the bank now finds itself in and should not be expected to pay the ultimate price by being forced out of their jobs." - Graham Goddard, deputy general secretary at Unite on Northern Rock.

"This is a very profitable plant. It's made, we reckon, about a billion pounds over the last 10 years. Why is he attacking the workers?" - Labour MP Michael Connarty on Ineos

Mayday!

How do you vote in the local elections when you want to punch Gordon Brown and slap David Cameron whilst ignoring Nick whatsisname!?!

Ministry of Indefensible!

Why did the Ministry of Defence opt for a "cost plus" scaffolding contract rather than a fixed price deal!?!

It would then have avoided any possibility of fraud and offered the taxpayer better value for money too!

"It was an environment which was ripe for printing money but they did not have to print money." - Judge Nicholas Loraine-Smith

Student rags to riches?

Would fewer graduates consider a career in the City if they could leave University with fewer debts!?!

"I do think it is rather unattractive that so many young people, when contemplating careers, look at the compensation packages available in the City and think that these dominate almost any other type of career." - Mervin King speaking to the Treasury Select Committee.

"Graduates leaving university [in 2005] had average debts of £13,252." - BBC News Online.

Number Crunching

48,217 - Teachers who think they deserve a pay rise.

511,671 - Pupils who think they don't.

Tidal flow

If half the recent wave of EU migrants have already gone back home, who has stayed!?!

Counting chickens before they come home to roost!

How will the FSA keep a straight face investigating liquidity rumours and short selling in HBOS shares when it has just announced a £4bn right issue!?!

Will HBOS management welcome another request to invest in their employer!?!

Criminal Injustice System

Will anyone in the criminal justice system be sacked for their "lackadaisical or nonchalant approach [ ] to many routine aspects of the handling of cases" that culminated in the murder of Richard Whelan?

Are the authorities more fearful of appearing "institutionally racist" than of victims' families?

Scot Shock!

1,200 Scots sometimes work in the private sector!

Asylum seeking dogs?

Why would any charity want to bring Sri Lankan street dogs to the UK, better benefits, better jobs or better healthcare!?!

105,000 native dogs are unemployed!

Petrol Shortages

"Put your trust in Gordon but keep your car tank full"

Cigarette fix?

How many lives have been saved by making cigarettes more expensive!?!

Fuel Poverty measures?

Is someone earning £30,000 per annum yet pays £4,000 per annum on gas, electricity and petrol living in fuel poverty!?!



"More than 10% of household income goes on energy bills."

Teacher's Pest?

Why should all teachers expect a 2.45% pay increase?

The best teachers should be able to look forward to higher pay increases and the worst teachers should expect nothing. I suspect the National Union of Teachers opposes performance related pay...

England Expects...

A Happy St. George's Day!

Mortgage Aid?

If the Government is going to offer home owners "mortgage help", can I stop paying my mortgage now!?!

"We want to ensure there continues to be stability and fairness in the housing market." - Housing Minister Caroline Flint.

Government is never fair!

Titanic mistake?

How many deckchairs can be bought for £50bn!?!

Credit crunching?

Will British banks be more careful lending £50bn of taxpayer's money than £50bn of shareholder's money!?!

Tides of talent?

What "tide of talent" do third world countries offer the UK?

Is it morally right for third world countries to suffer by losing talented individuals to G8 countries!?!

John "the rake" Prescott?

How could John Prescott have eaten £4,000 of food and groceries in a year if he had not conquered Bulimia!?!

'Saving' the housing market?

If Alistair Darling wants to save the housing market from itself, why not give homeowners £50bn to pay off their mortgages rather than give it to the banks!?!

As it is, inflation will now go through the roof whilst the economy goes down the toilet!

PS What about those of us who have waited patiently for the biggest house price correction in a generation!?!

BBC's Don't Have Your Say?

Why has the BBC avoided a "Have your say" on the fortieth anniversay of Enoch Powell's "Rivers of Blood" speech!?!

You can have your say on "Prescott's Bulimia confession", "today's social evils", "Zimbabwe" or "compensation for low earners" instead!

Labour's tragedy

The Labour Party lose an MP with principles and keep one with none!

Shiredenfreude!

Shire Plc are fighting NHS rulings restricting access to expensive drug treatments whilst simultaneously moving their headquarters to Ireland to reduce the amount of UK tax they pay!

Just who do they think funds the NHS!?!

Migrant myths?

"Migrant crime fears 'unfounded' " - BBC News Online.

"Migrant crime wave a myth - police study" - Guardian Newspaper.

What about immigrants from outside the EU!?!

PS Do crime rates fall if people are fearful of going outdoors at night!?!

Gordon Brown - All over by Christmas?

What does Gordon Brown consider to be the long term? A few months...

'[Gordon Brown] will not be diverted from the "right long-term decisions" for the UK's economy even if they are "unpopular in the short term".'

The prime minister told the BBC he wanted to show people worried about homes and jobs the economy was "safe for them over the next few months".

And then what!?!

Pocket money?

Will British bankers ask how Gordon Brown's removal of the 10p starting rate of income tax and increasing National Insurance contributions from 1% to 10% for middle income earners is helping to put more money in the pockets of British workers?

Islamist fighters

Should we hope that the Islamist fighters who have murdered two Britons and two Kenyans in the Somali town of Beledweyne escape justice as they could face beheading if caught!?!

World Food Prices

Are European food subsidies paid through the Common Agriculture Policy being cut as world food prices surge!?!

Polish Magistrates

How many Polish magistrates are currently working in the UK?

"[Operation Black Vote] has held a seminar aimed at encouraging more magistrates in Wales from ethnic minorities."

Racially Aggravated Terrorism?

Have the eight men accused of a plan to suicide-bomb passenger planes been charged with racially aggravated murder and endangering aircraft!?!

"This is an obligation on me as a Muslim to wage Jihad against the Kuffar (non-believers).[ ] This is revenge for the actions of the USA in the Muslim lands and their accomplices such as the British and the Jews."

"New offences under Sections 28-32, 82 of the Crime & Disorder Act 1998 deal with the crimes of racist violence and harassment. [ ] There has been concern expressed in particular by members of the Muslim community that the offences do not apply when someone is attacked because of their religion. The Government believes that the vast majority of attacks on Muslims are motivated by racism, rather than hostility towards Islam. The Act makes it clear that even where there is a religious element to a crime, so long as some part of the motivation is racial, the offence will count as a racially aggravated offence."

The Future's Brown?

"People will be saying 'wouldn't it be great to have that Blair back because we can't stand that Gordon Brown'" - David Miliband, 8 February 2007.

"Brown’s poll rating has fallen to minus 37, down from plus 48 last August. The collapse is the most dramatic of any modern-day prime minister, worse even than Neville Chamberlain who in 1940 dropped from plus 21 to minus 27 after Hitler’s invasion of Norway." - The Sunday Times, 13th April 2008.

Judgement Day

If free NHS treatment for failed asylum seekers means that the Government will send home 11,000 failed asylum seekers more quickly, I'm all for it!

However, when does the British electorate ever get a chance to remove judges it disagrees with!?!

Why didn't this particular Palestinian head back to the West Bank when it's border with Egypt was breached earlier this year!?!

Ode to Bankers?

Ring a-ring o' loanses,
A pocketful of CDOs,
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
We all fall down.

Loopy loophole?

Why do tax officials not require a visual check of a child's birth certificate before paying child tax credits!?!

How many months does it take to realise that benefit claims for sixteen children sounds excessive, even Karen Matthews only has seven children!?!

"This case is the result of many months of intense and thorough work by a dedicated team of tax credit investigation officers, determined to see that these fraudsters were brought to justice." - Sarah Bamford, of HM Revenue and Customs.

Would the fraudsters have escaped justice if they had not been so greedy and only claimed tax credits for three children!?!

I blame Gordon...

Student ghost towns

Is the Government genuinely shocked that "student ghost towns " are created by students choosing to live within walking distance of their University to save travel time and money!?!

The only way Government could end "student ghost towns" would be to reduce the size of each University.

How much are the "outside consultants" charging to come up with their proposals!?!

Going up?

Does Britain need more immigration to increase the growth rate!?!

The IMF predict that "growth in the UK will slow sharply to 1.6% in both 2008 and 2009" compared to Treasury forecasts of 2% growth this year and 2.5% next year!!

The Unmagnificent Seventh!

"Only one in seven people thinks that the economic situation will improve within months." - Nationwide consumer confidence index.

Darling 'optimistic' on economy.

Benefits of hindsight?

Would higher benefits improve the lives of Karen Matthews and her extended family!?!

Are the Department of Work & Pensions reviewing her benefit claims!?!

Not Friends of the Earth?

Why is Friends of the Earth taking the Government to court for failing to "end the misery of fuel poverty"?

Higher fuel prices should mean that energy is used more efficiently, saving the planet from climate change!

Mr Boom and Busted?

Should Gordon Brown welcome March's 2.5% fall in UK house prices as it automatically makes homes more affordable!?!

"For ten years I have tried to deliver a stable economy, and that will always be the starting point. [ ] And when people ask me what I will focus on as Prime Minister: [ ] The new challenges: affordable housing;" - Gordon Brown accepting the nomination of leader of the Labour Party.

Browned off?

Is Gordon Brown hoping the Bank of England can keep UK plc growing by cutting the base rate this week when his last budget increased taxes for so many from today!?!

The Great Flame of London?

How much are the 'celebrities' being paid to carry the Olympic torch through London?

"I always said my taking part in the procession doesn't mean I condone China in any way." - Konnie Huq.

NHS - Nation's Hospitals Sold?

Try to imagine Labour's protests had the Conservatives dared to propose selling London's hospitals and leasing them back...

Labour's plans would make sense if Britain didn't need any hospitals twenty years from now. As it is, selling and leasing hospitals back will cost the taxpayer millions more in the long run!

Can we assume the hospitals will be sold to offshore trusts to avoid tax!?!

Government's finger on the pulse?

Government is in touch - Home Secretary, Sunday, March 30th, 2008.

Immigration is good for you - Gordon Brown, Tuesday, 1st April 2008.

2012 Olympics Games are good for you - Tessa Jowell, Thursday, 3rd April 2008.

"If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed." - Adolf Hitler.

New UK Border Agency

"The new agency will be the eyes and ears of the police at the border." - Home Office spokesman

Brown on immigration

When Gordon Brown says that "immigration is good for the UK", which part of the electorate is he appealing to!?!

Does Gordon Brown regret the number of low skilled immigrants that have already arrived in the UK if a new points-based system will only allow highly skilled workers into the UK!?!

Eyes of the world?

President Robert Mugabe has said the "eyes of the world" are on Britain and said that it should hold an election without delay!

Millions had been unable to vote and "their voice must now be heard".


Mr Brown blames Britain's problems on a Tory plot

Has April 1st come earlier this year?

T5 baggage system 'working'

Government is in touch - Smith

Team GB's revolutionary success
"Great Britain's cyclists delivered an awesome series of performances in Manchester at the Track Cycling World Championships. "

Doing your homework!

White working class 'left behind'
"Children's ability to succeed was also defined by their own academic hopes, how much homework they did and their attitude to school, the report added."

Teachers call for ban on homework
"Teachers want homework to be abolished for primary school age children."

Asylum seeking

Why did Congoan, Iranian and Somalian asylum seekers flee to the UK rather than to a neighbouring country!?!

Asylum seekers tell their stories

Britain should do what's best for Britain rather than foreign nationals!

Between a Northern Rock and a hard place?

Had the FSA restricted Northern Rock's mortgage lending or challenged it's business model before the current credit crunch, who would have complained most, Northern Rock's directors or shareholders!?!

Playing the council tax card?

Will any of the major political parties be fighting May's local elections with promises of reducing council tax?

If council tax reductions are not popular, why has Scotland frozen council tax rises this year!?!

Dig for victory!

Did the 'Bevin boys' do the country "a great service" when striking for better pay in 1944 rather than waiting for Hitler's defeat!?!

"By their steadfastness, courage and unity, they had redressed the injustice of 1921, and re-established a guaranteed minimum wage. " - National Union of Minerworkers.

"it still makes us proud to remember everything you did" - Gordon Brown, PM.

Hide and smoke?

Cigarette display ban considered

"A pack of condoms and, erm, erm, a pack of twenty"!?!

Association of Teachers and Lecturers

Should the Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL) be calling for a reduction in immigration levels rather than for increased funding to "to cope with the numbers" of children arriving from abroad with little or no English!?!

When "the vast majority of newly arrived families [are] placed in deprived areas with empty houses - and with spare capacity in the schools", who represents the locals competing for good quality public services!?!

Reducing child poverty

With seven children by five different fathers, what is Shannon Matthew's mother doing to reduce child poverty by 2010!?!

Benefits of the European Union?

Australia deports UK paedophile
Serial paedophile Raymond Horne, reportedly moved from the UK to Queensland in 1952 aged five and started offending in the 60s.

Lawrence killer wins bid to stay
"Although [ ] born in Italy, Chindamo has lived in the UK since the age of six." It would be "disproportionate" to deport him after he completes his sentence for the murder of Philip Lawrence.

Educating white working class boys.

What's more important, playing politics with white working class boys or educating them?

"One delegate [at the Association of Teachers and Lecturers] said liberal-minded people had stopped highlighting white boys' problems [of underchievement] for fear of lending weight to the arguments of right wing politicians."

Credit crunched?

What happens in just a couple of months when the Federal Reserve can no longer reduce interest rates as they are already 0%!?!

Number Crunching

£7bn - Total bonus pot for City bankers & workers in 2007.

£5bn - Emergency loans provided to UK banks yesterday.

Benefits of working?

If Dame Carol Black recognises that generations of the same family have "drifted" into a benefits culture, will she call for reductions in the £63bn welfare benefits bill that funds them!?!

Stressing that none of these claimants are lazy but merely need more support will achieve nothing without rewarding work and penalising lives on benefits!

Will Dame Carol condemn the politicians who have created the benefits culture!?!

Conservative tax rises?

If David Cameron is unable to offer the electorate any immediate tax cuts following a Conservative general election victory, why bother highlighting how Labour have increased taxes time and time again!?!

"High debt, high interest rates, high taxes -- and now lower growth. Those are the facts that this budget cannot hide" - David Cameron, Wednesday, March 12th.

Expenses, expenses, expenses

What is Her Majesty's Revenue & Customs (HMRC) view of MPs being allowed to claim up to £10,000 for a new kitchen, £2,000 for furniture and £750 for a TV or stereo for their second homes?

Are they taxed as benefits in kind? Can contractors temporarily living away from home for employment reasons allowed to make similar claims against their own companies!?!

Heathrow Intruder

Why wasn't today's Heathrow airport intruder shot by Police for posing an "extraordinarily serious" threat to passengers?

"A major security alert has taken place at Heathrow airport as [an Asian or Arab] man with a rucksack scaled the perimeter fence and ran into the path of an aircraft."

Education spending

If £31bn of additional Government spending on education over the last ten years still means that less than half of all students get five or more good GCSEs, will the additional £200m announced in yesterday's budget make any difference!?!

"By 2011, every school 'will be an improving school' "

2008 Budget checker

How many times will Alistair Darling mention the following in today's Budget!?!

Prudence.

Northern Rock.

Climate change.

Hard working families.

No return to boom and bust.