Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Non-smoking taxes?

How will the Chancellor recoup the tax revenues lost following the introduction of the smoking ban in England?


Alfie said...

He'll decree that everyone in the country has to eat 5 tins of baked beans a day.... then they will bring out a new farting tax.

SBDs will fall into the heaviest tax band. Perpetrators will be made to sport a government health warning on their heads. People who let rip the 'bubbly' kind of farts will be issued with plastic 'emergency' trousers - just in case.

'Rasperers' will be stripped and put in the stocks, back to front - the population will then be invited to chuck large corks at the perpetrator's arse, in the hope of bunging it up forever.

Alfie said...

(Corks will obviously be subject to the new 'cork tax'. And 'arse tax' will be payable at the usual rate of 62%)