Saturday, September 09, 2006

Gnome sweet gnome!

Are Police guilty of harassment if they wake a householder up at nearly midnight to warn him that a gnome in his garden is considered offensive by neighbours?

Would the Police be so concerned if the neighbour didn't happen to be a former Policeman himself!?!

3 comments:

alfie said...

I hope plod don't come round to my garden - I have my tastefully arranged porno gnome scene, starring Ron Jeregnome and and his 10 inch fishing rod hidden amongst the gladiolii.

Up there by the rockery there is 'bent copper gnome' taking a back hander from 'greasy geezer gnome' while nearby Johnny Burglar Gnome is beating up old Biddy Gnome and nicking her fishing rod. Over by the wishing well there's a fight between Tony and Gnordon Gnome over who's going to get to sit on the biggest toadstool.......

Hiding in the bushes are 50 to 60 illegal immigrant gnomes - hoping to get a job in the booming fishing rod sector - but they've got no chance. The more traditional gnomes in our garden have all left and gone to Gnuniversity to study Gneconomics, Gnociology and the Gnedia - fishing is too far beneath them now. Their little fishing rods have new owners, 600,000 Polish Gnomes.... They don't say much, but they are doing the vital fishing rod jobs that the indigenous gnomes don't want to do any more - fishing with little rods, toadstool minding, white beard wearing etc, etc.

Snafu said...

he is in hysterics!

Snafu said...

Alfie, I can't help thinking that the gnomes on benefits will be struggling to survive over by the compost heap whilst many Muslim gnomes will feel alienated from the wider garden community and will want a pond of their own!