You can't be serious!

When did the Home Office decide that armed robbery was no longer a "serious offence"?

Too much Palestinian aid?

Do the Palestinians have a bloated public sector if 25% of Palestinian workers work for the Palestinian Authority (PA)?

In the long term, would Palestine benefit cuts to their aid budget to encourage private sector growth? Some outspoken commentators already say Africa is cursed with too much aid...

A 'Dear Tony' letter

I've met someone else. After nine years of passion, lust and love, it's over. We're finished. You no longer mean anything to me.

We shared the good times but I don't want to share your bad times. "Things can only get better", that was our song but "I will survive" seems more appropriate now.

There is only room in my life for one man and that can only be Gordon Brown so turn around now, walk out the door...

Love,

The Labour Party

Labour quotes?

No civil war in the Labour Party. - Jack Straw.

Labour is having it's best year ever. - Patricia Hewitt.

My other sh*g's a secretary. - John Prescott.

Tony Blair should go when it's best for him. - Gordon Brown.

Time off for bad behaviour

Will John Prescott be spending more time with his family or secretary now that he has more time on his hands!?!

Shelled out

How can cashiers at Shell Service stations have outwitted the chip-and-pin payment system designed by boffins and being used there?

These Pin pads are supposed to be tamper resistant, they are supposed to shut down, so that has obviously failed. - Apacs spokeswoman Sandra Quinn.

Thankfully, no such problems could affect National Identity cards as the Home Office is in charge!

Innovative welfare cuts

If the Government saves £7bn a year by moving one million 'disabled' people off benefits and into jobs, will the money saved be returned to taxpayers or will the Government find innovative new ways to waste it?

Party-pooping

Labour may be licking their wounds following their local election drubbing but they can console themselves that the Conservatives have not done well enough to win power!

Even though the Conservatives won 40% of the vote, the bias in the current electoral system ensures this might not be sufficient to secure eleectoral success in 2010!

It's David Cameron what did it!

Was David Cameron's focus on the environment critical to the apparent revival in Conservative fortunes last night?

Liberal Democrats should be disturbed that their candidates were bypassed by disenchanted Labour voters moving straight to the Conservatives. However, is this over-simplistic? Were Liberal Democrat supporters moving to the Conservatives just as readily as Labour supporters moved to the Liberal Democrats?

Sensitivity? My a*se!

Why should doctors be sensitive when dealing with weight issues that affect long term health?

Doctors will provid[e] parents with gentle prompts to encourage discussion about their child's weight.

Some parents may need a more direct approach even if phrases such as "Fat b*stard", "lardy", "tubby" and "early death" are prohibited!

Public school "too exclusive"

A Public school in Tewkesbury is too exclusive! The Abbey Choir School needs 150 pupils to break even but only has 85 pupils currently.

Have the Governors considered cutting the £9,000 annual fees as one way of attracting more pupils?

Local election literature

What explains the lack of Labour local election literature in my constituency?

Labour have run out of cash and need to sell more peerages.

Focus groups suggest that no amount of money can save Labour from poor results this evening.

Local councillors have no real power to affect the lives of their communities.

Just a pointless killing?

Last year, a group of four West Indian youths were walking home from a demonstration in Birmingham when they were spotted by three young white men. They stop their cars just in front of them and get out, intent on causing trouble. The white youths verbally abuse the West Indians as they approach them, one of them even produces a knife.

Both groups throw punches before the West Indian youths finally flee for their lives down a street. The white youths chase after them and manage to trap one of them. He is stabbed through the heart and dies later that night.

A racist murder? Not at all, it's just a "pointless killing".

Acceptable face of capitalism?

Should the private sector make an allowance for the incompetence of civil servants when negotiating PFI deals?

MPs have condemned Octagon Healthcare for using a refinancing deal on the project to boost returns to its investors by £82m.

Are MPs equally damning of the hospital authority whose negotiating team was consisted of civil servants "[who] were not up to the rough and tumble of negotiating refinancing proposals with the private sector"?

Somalian refugees

If Somalian refugees cannot be deported if convicted of a crime, should they be allowed into the UK in the first place?

PC Sharon Beshenivsky's parents can console themselves that the man suspected of murdering their daughter faced dangers in war-torn Somalia had he been deported.

Labour return to the political wilderness?

Poor local election results in 1990 presaged Mrs. Thatcher's political demise, an event that continues to cast a long shadow over the Conservative Party. If Tony Blair's political demise is hastened by poor local election results this week, will the Labour Party also be cast back into the political wilderness?

If both the Labour and Conservative parties wallow in the political wilderness at the same time, who fills the void?

Big Bad John

Was John Prescott's 'reputation' (Using this word in it's broadest possible sense!) deliberately sacrificed to remove the media spotlight from Charles Clarke in the Home Office and Patricia Hewitt in the Department of Health?

Paper excuses

David Cameron is in eco-friendly hot water. It has been discovered that whilst he cycles to work proving his 'green credentials', he is followed by a car carrying his office papers as there are too many to carry safely on his bike.

What is David doing to reduce the amount of paper his office uses each day to save the environment!?!

School inspections "humiliating"

One quarter of teachers surveyed fear the "public humiliation" caused when Ofsted send letters to pupils detailing their schools' failings.

There is at least one way for teachers to avoid such humiliation in the future, improve the school by restoring discipline!

Some votes more valuable than others?

The Institute of Public Policy Research recommends that voting should be compulsory in the UK. Is this welcome if it stops the major parties focusing their resources on chasing votes in key marginal constituencies whilst ignoring other areas?

Not all votes are equally valued by the parties and are frequently taken for granted under the current system.