Child poverty forever.

How many of the 5.5m children "living in, or on the brink of poverty" have parents who can afford to drink and smoke!?!

Who is responsible for "lifting" Karen Matthews' family out of poverty when she has had seven children by five different fathers?

Government targets for reducing child poverty should focus on discouraging the feckless and work shy from having more and more children rather than paying them more and more.

Policing the Police?

How do Police ensure their vans are not used unofficially!?!

Bradford & Bungley

If the Government wants to protect the taxpayer from the recent nationalisation of Bradford & Bingley, will it let HMRC cross reference it's tax records with Bradford & Bingley's self-certified and buy-to-let mortgages!?!

"Bradford & Bingley was the biggest buy-to-let lender through its subsidiary Mortgage Express."

Millennium Bug 2?

Are fears of total economic collapse following the rejection of a $700bn bail-out package spread by the same people who feared the millennium bug!?!

Chinese walls

Why will it take at least three years for Britain to stop sending aid to China when they can afford to send three astronauts into space for a spacewalk and spend £20bn on the Olympics!?!

When will China start sending aid to Britain!?!

Barber's message

"Today's figures show that unemployment is starting to accelerate and it now looks very likely that total unemployment will reach two million during 2009" - TUC General Secretary Brendan Barber, 17th September 2008.

"It is entirely predictable that some employer groups will say that the minimum wage increase will threaten jobs, yet it has helped millions without significant job losses." - TUC General Secretary Brendan Barber, 28th September 2008.

Are two million unemployed people insignificant!?!

Foreign ID cards

How many foreign nationals will show keep an ID card that says "No public funds" when seeking NHS treatment, council housing, welfare benefits or a National Insurance number!?!

No doubt the contractors delivering ID cards will be doing everything they can to deliver and invoice for as much as possible before Labour are kicked out of office!

"[Home Office Minister Meg Hillier] also said the scheme might be too far advanced for the Tories to "unpick" if they came to power in 2010."

Crime pays

If a benefit cheat is expected to repay the state £10,000 by paying £10 per week for the next twenty years, can I borrow £100,000 from the state on the same terms!?!

Ruth Kelly Resignation

Is Ruth Kelly resigning "to spend more time with her family" or so her son can spend more time at private schools!?!

He would remain at the £15,000-a-year private school for "a couple of years before he begins at a state secondary school".

Good news!

Scrapping prescription charges for English cancer patients will mean they have more money to pay for hospital parking fees unlike cancer patients in Scotland or Wales where parking is free!

Laissez-faire

Would the French Government ever let a British company buy a French energy company!?!

Let them surf!

When people are asked how Labour can help them through the present financial crisis, how many say that "home internet access for all children" is what they need!?!

"Families, who have been identified by local schools as having no access, will be able to apply for vouchers of up to £700 pound so they can get online."

One family that doesn't need internet access, the Matthews...

Captive market!

Prison call costs 'need review'

Gordon the cat!

LONG ago, the mice had a general council to consider what measures they could take to outwit their common enemy, the Cat. Some said this, and some said that; but at last a young mouse got up and said he had a proposal to make, which he thought would meet the case. “You will all agree,” said he, “that our chief danger consists in the sly and treacherous manner in which the enemy approaches us. Now, if we could receive some signal of her approach, we could easily escape from her. I venture, therefore, to propose that a small bell be procured, and attached by a ribbon round the neck of the Cat. By this means we should always know when she was about, and could easily retire while she was in the neighbourhood.

This proposal met with general applause, until an old mouse got up and said: “That is all very well, but who is to bell the Cat?” The mice looked at one another and nobody spoke. Then the old mouse said:

“IT IS EASY TO PROPOSE IMPOSSIBLE REMEDIES.”

Gordon's bonus?

If Gordon Brown's salary was based on "long term performance" rather than "short term deals", how much would he be earning!?!

UK unemployment total rises again

Consumer inflation rises to 4.7%

Northern Rock expands state debt

National minimum unemployment!

As unemployment rises at it's fastest rate since December 1992, is it still prudent to increase the national minimum wage 3.8% from October this year!?!

Of stable doors and bolted horses

Why didn't Gordon Brown "clean up" the financial system when he was Chancellor and the foundations of the credit crunch were being layed!?!

Would Lehmans, HBOS or Northern Rock have welcomed increased regulation five years ago when their business models were so profitable!?!

Number Crunching

42% - The "Falkands Effect" on Mrs. Thatcher's share of the vote in 1983.

52% - The "Gordon Brown Effect" on David Cameron's current popularity!

Night of the long paperclips!

Will reducing the time taken to record a crime increase the number of crimes recorded!?!

Every cloud has a silver lining!

How long did it take the BBC to find a photo of Wall Street traders including an American of African descent!?!

This Septic Isle

"That's incredible. Imagine seven million people all wanting to live together. Yeah, New York must be the friendliest place on earth." - Michael "Crocodile" Dundee.

England 'most crowded [country] in Europe' - BBC News online.

Do we need even more immigration to save us all from the credit crunch!?!

"Gordon Brown has rejected calls for a cap on non-EU immigration, saying it could harm the British economy."

Humble Beginnings?

"Seven female cabinet ministers have talked about their struggles in their twenties, in an interview with a women's magazine. [ ] Company magazine editor Victoria White said it showed that successful women could make it from "humble beginnings".

Ruth Kelly - She was privately educated at Sutton High School. She returned to England where she won a scholarship to the Westminster School to take her A-levels. She went on to Queen's College, Oxford where she read Philosophy, Politics and Economics, graduating in 1989, and then to the London School of Economics gaining an MSc in Economics in 1992.

Tessa Jowell - educated at the independent St Margaret's School for Girls in Aberdeen, the University of Aberdeen, the University of Edinburgh and Goldsmiths College, University of London.

Harriet Harman - educated at the famous independent St Paul's Girls' School and the University of York, where she gained a BA in Politics.

South Africa - The new Zimbabwe

SA court rejects Zuma graft case

"A South African court has ruled that a corruption case against ruling party leader Jacob Zuma cannot go ahead."

Unhealthy tourism?

How many health tourists have sued the NHS for poor quality treatment over the years!?!

Does the NHS ensure that litigants were entitled to free NHS treatment before paying compensation?

New Labour rehashed?

Would it be cheaper to discourage vulnerable families from having more children by cutting benefits rather than expanding state boarding schools to "transform the lives of vulnerable children"!?!

It's ironic that one of Labour's first policies on coming to power in 1997 was to scrap the Assisted Places Scheme that could transform the lives of gifted children!

Expensive headlines

Does Gordon Brown ever feel that even fate is conspiring against him!?!

On the day he announced £1bn of help for the "fuel poor", his headlines were trumped by a power-sharing agreement in Zimbabwe and the Channel Tunnel fire! A very poor return on £1bn...

PS The £1bn isn't even Gordon's to spend, it's our fuel bills that will be increasing! Once again, Gordon has decided that he knows how our money should be spent!

Cooking up waste

How will free cook books for 11-year-olds help "tackle" obesity when it's probable that pupils at greatest risk of obesity are the least likely to be able to read, write or add-up!?!

"As many as 20% of children leave primary school functionally illiterate, Christine Gilbert, the chief inspector of schools, said as she unveiled reforms to the inspection process designed to intensify pressure on the lowest-performing and "coasting" schools which are failing to improve." - The Guardian, May 2008.

P A Consulting

If PA Consulting really signed a contract with Home Office civil servants that meant they could be sacked for poor performance at "no [ ] cost to the taxpayer", they deserve to be sacked!

Is it more likely that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith is being "economical with the truth"!?!

Classless society

Do the poorest members of society care about narrowing the UK's class gap when they can look forward to council tax rebates or free insulation if they wait and do nothing!?!

Migration Advisory Committee

How does a "panel of experts" identify "which sectors of the UK job market are short of workers"!?!

Do they choose the professions that have incurred the highest pay rises in the last five years or use a lottery!?! Pay increases should decline for the chosen ones as the supply of labour increases ceteris paribus.

Mind the social gap!

Why are so few poor people concerned that the "relationship between low qualifications and low income is stronger in the UK than anywhere except the United States."? Would they be more concerned if the welfare state was less generous!?!

Does this prove that the UK is a meritocracy where hard work is rewarded and idleness is punished!?!

Discrimination is good for you!

Who is being discriminated against when you can only win £600,000 compensation for racial discrimination if you are "Muslim and Asian"!?!

Should the payout be used to fund an orphanage in Pakistan or help victims of 7/7!?!

No room at the Inn

Why would hotel management policy "not accept militiary personnel"?

Will the Equality and Human Rights Commission investigate as it's not the first time that soldiers have been discriminated against!?!

Twenty examples of grammar misuse?

20 examples of grammar misuse - BBC news website.

"Always spell out numbers that begin sentences."

"Avoid beginning a sentence with a number that is not written out."

Educational Maintenance Allowance

How do 150,000 teenagers in receipt of the Educational Maintenance Allowance spend their money at weekends!?!

Will town centres be safer this weekend as the payments system has broken down!?!

It's good news for fraudsters though, they will already have identified ways to exploit the failings to their advantage!

Stamping out duty?

What Government help is being offered "to help people through difficult times" who are not buying houses but are merely struggling to make ends meet?

They can console themselves with the knowledge that their taxes will need to increase to fund the cuts in stamp duty!

Recession - the upside?

If a recession will "Increase [ ] public hostility to migrants" and "there is evidence that grievances based on experiencing racism are one of the factors that can lead to people becoming terrorists", will the Home Office seek to reduce the number of immigrants or increase funding of "community cohesion" programmes!?!