Headlines to vote for?

If the Conservative Party fail to make progress in next week's local elections, they might as well pack up and go home. Could anyone in Conservative Central Office have wished for better headlines recently?

Hewitt heckled by furious nurses
Clarke to explain prison releases
Prescott 'regret' over affair

Hopefully, the Conservatives will also be battered next week though! They deserve it for giving up on Conservatism!

Breaking Records

If you do not keep full records for HM Revenue & Customs, you can be fined up to £3,000. What penalites does the Home Office face for only keeping records on just 75% of the 80 most dangerous foreign prisoners recently freed?

Missing records on such a scale suggests systemic failure throughout the Home Office. What is the opinion of the National Audit Office? Have they been allowed to check Home Office record keeping independently?

If Home Office minister Hazel Blears insists the most serious offenders are out on licence and being monitored why can't the Police find them?

Angelina Jolie's praise is a bit rich!

Why is the sixth highest paid actress in Hollywood, Angelina Jolie, praising Gordon Brown for backing a campaign to boost global education when it's £8.5bn of UK taxpayer's money that is being spent over the next ten years!?! She should be praising me!

As Angelina Jolie commands $15m per film, why has she only adopted one Ethiopian girl!?! Can't she afford to adopt another one!?!

English tuition tax

Who could have predicted that one third of English undergraduates would not have started their degree had they been expected to pay £3,000 per year for the privilege?

If English students receive no additional benefit compared to Welsh and Scottish students then tuition fees are nothing more than a tax on English students!

Justice served?

How is justice best served by increasing the two year sentence given to Angela Dublin for causing a pile-up in which three boys and an adult died and for which she has shown 'real remorse'?

She was clearly wrong to have seven passengers in the car and it is not possible to fully empathise with the feelings of pain and loss suffered by the families of those killed and injured in the crash.

Should everyone caught driving an overloaded car be imprisoned for five years or just those who subsequently have a crash?

Welsh speedbag

Q. Who has campained against speeding all his life and recognises that speeding is a killer?

A. Neil Kinnock, just banned from driving for six months and fined £800 after collecting 15 penalty points for speeding in just three years!

In other news, drivers who are caught by speed cameras are more likely to be involved in accidents than those with clean licences.

Office of the Desk Polishing Minister (ODPM)

No wonder John Prescott forgot to pay his council tax and didn't notice fraud within the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister.

'Two jabs' was busy polishing desks with Ms Tracey Temple.

Oops

The Home Office has released 1,023 foreign prisoners without considering any of them for deportation? Why isn't deportation automatic? So far, only 20% of those tracked down have been deported. This is despite Tony Blair's recent claim that he wants to "harry, hassle and hound" criminals into giving up crime or leave Britain!

Is it better for a convicted and released Algerian murderer to remain in the UK or face possible torture if deported back to Algeria?

Will Charles Clarke regret his recent call for an "adherence to professional journalistic standards [and a] requirement to examine the facts and check them with rigour"?

Tax credits overpaid, again.

If tax credits have been overpaid by £2.2bn for the second year in a row, how much should have been paid out?

Would a universal increase in the personal taxfree allowance have achieved what Gordon Brown wanted with no increase in administrative costs and no overpayments?

Police and legal system "useless"?

If criminal gangs trading in people and fake ID are "out of control", does this suggest the Police and legal system in the UK are useless!?!

Would the introduction of ID cards help restore control or would such enterprising gangs be able to overcome this hurdle too?

Unhealthily all black?

Would Professor Ted Cantle, a senior Government race relations advisor, be allowed to describe certain areas as "unhealthily all black" if it is acceptable for him to describe certain areas as "unhealthily all white"?

Migrant workers "boost UK growth"?

East European migrant workers are "plugging gaps in a variety of industries" according to an Ernst & Young (E&Y) report. This helps keep inflation under control, boost output and raise tax revenue.

However, is the E&Y picture still rosy when the number of unemployed people rose by 108,000 to 1.54 million between October and December 2005?

Do unemployment benefits need to be reduced to encourage them to plug the gaps?

NHS job losses only in England?

How many of the 7,000 job losses announced by the NHS over recent weeks affect the NHS in Scotland or Wales?

Brussels MP3 murder

The BBC reports that "80,000 people have taken part in a silent march in Brussels to protest over the murder of a teenager who refused to give thieves his MP3 player".

Silent march and thieves suggests that there is more to this story than the BBC lets on. Sure enough, google "Joe Van Holsbeeck" and you discover that Joe was murdered by thieves of North African descent.

Immediately after the assassination the police inquired whether Joe had made any “racist remarks” whilst been mugged. So what if he had? Would he deserve to die if he made such remarks?

Blair on immigration?

If Tony Blair thinks MPs are "out of touch" with the electorate on crime, does he believe that MPs are "in touch" with the electorate on immigration?

Nanny vouchers

Why does Demos think that any families don't already make decisions based upon what's best for them?

If families are to receive "nanny vouchers" to help with cleaning and cooking so that women can return to work, can childless individuals also have vouchers so they don't have to cook and clean for themselves when they return from work!?!

Happy St. George's Day!

Good to see that Google has remembered to celebrate St. George's Day.

The BBC continues to rue the day...

Gordon Brown on climate change

Gordon Brown is highlighting the "moral need" to fight climate change.

Will he reduce the number of times he uses the Royal flight to demonstrate his commitment to the environment?

A cabal of mediocrity

It's difficult to know which panellist will make me more angry on Question Time this evening, Charles Clarke MP, the Home Secretary; George Osborne MP, the Shadow Chancellor or Vince Cable MP, Deputy Leader of the Liberal Democrats.

For the sake of my television, it may be best if I don't watch...

Government Priorities?

£8.5bn - Additional educational aid for Africa and Asia over the next ten years courtesy of Gordon Brown

£5m - Reduction in the compensation budget per year for those wrongly convicted of crimes in England and Wales courtesy of Charles Clarke.

Footballs to Germany

Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is in the Albert Hall,
Himmler has something sim'lar,
But poor old Angela has no balls at all.

Value for money?

The BBC questions whether GPs earning £250,000 per year are offering patients value for money.

Will the BBC question whether DJs supposedly earning over £500,000 per year offer licence fee payers value for money?

Scottish Exuberance?

Will the Scottish Executive offer Scottish sufferers of Diabetes an insulin inhaler, Exubera, rejected for use in England and Wales as it would cost £1,100 per patient per year?

English students short-changed by UK Parliament (2)

It's just as well that English students can start doing two year degree courses.

How would the Government find space for a further 100,000 foreign students oherwise!?!

Oh, the humanity!

Q: What "gross infringement of human rights" might cause tube-drivers to go on strike?

A: The introduction of clock cards.

English students short-changed by UK Parliament

If English undergraduates were funded as generously as Welsh and Scottish students, would the UK government still need to offer a two-year degree course so that English students could start work with less debt?

Conservative Local Election Priorities

Iain Duncan Smith has highlighted communities frustrated with things like poor housing, inability to get work, the collapse of manual labour, no educational training, anti-social behaviour on the streets, the cleanliness of the street.

So why does David Cameron believe that focusing on the environment will improve the Conservatives electoral chances?

Teaching strikes

On what basis do teachers think they are right to strike in protest at the Government's proposed education reforms? I do not strike in protest at Government reforms, just curse them.

Teachers should accept the reforms or leave the profession, whether you like it or not, Labour was re-elected in May 2005 and should not expect professional opposition from any left-wing teaching union.

If only the reforms were a first step towards destroying the comprehensive system.

Liberals "still out of touch with reality"

If Liberal Democrat leader Sir Menzies Campbell really believes that the Conservatives are "still right wing", he needs to get out more!

If only the Conservatives were right wing...

NHS Cash Crisis

Hopefully, Labour will overcome the current media frenzy about a cash crisis in the NHS. For Tony Blair to interrupt a holiday, it must be bad! Hospitals and staff should face sanctions for breaching budgets when management are responsible for them. Why set budgets if they can be ignored with impunity?

Was Gordon Brown rash awarding 1.3m NHS workers pay rises in the 2006 budget? How can any hospital trust manage their finances when a third party determines their pay rates!?!

Manx you!

Why should the UK Government pay the top-up fees of Manx students who study at English Universities when English students are expected to pay their own fees?

English lead classical Brits field

Would the BBC ever use such a headline?

Syringed?

You can almost imagine the Conservative high command with a syringe at the neck of prospective Tory councillor Joan Howarth.

Just three days after saying that an ethnic minority candidate "wouldn't work" in a traditional working class seat, she has now changed her mind.

I totally support David Cameron's moves to make the Conservative Party more inclusive and to have more candidates from black and ethnic minority communities. I believe that candidates should be able to stand everywhere regardless of the ethnic make-up of the constituency in question. - Joan Howarth.

Cautioning against statistics

Rape cautions increase by 21 in ten years.
Rape cautions double in ten years.

The above headlines are both factually correct but who would be "shocked" that the number of rape cautions has increased by 21 over ten years!?!

Brown-nosing Brown Corporation

Does Gordon Brown really think that pledging an additional £8.5bn of our money so that all African children have access to a good primary school will endear him to the UK electorate?

The BBC thinks it will: This is Mr Brown's second trip to Africa in the last 18 months and will be seen by many in Britain as the latest stage of a campaign to present a more rounded image of the man widely expected to be Britain's next prime minister, and establish his credentials as a world statesman. - BBC's James Landale.

If only Gordon could ensure all UK children have access to good primary and secondary schools...

Making a molehill out of a mountain

Sales of sleeping pills must be surging at the Spring Conservative Party conference.

Labour wallow in a cash for peerages scandal and negative NHS headlines yet Conservative support continues to flat-line whilst Cameron's honeymoon period is already over. Party activists should be struggling to sleep at night, I would! The Conservatives should only have a molehill to climb towards power but they are turning it into a mountain!

David Cameron cannot continue going month after month without saying anything of substance - John Prescott.

The Conservative Party is more remote to me now than it has ever been.

Not "Cooking on gas"!

Why should the Government (taxpayer) buy gas and electricity in bulk on behalf of people on low-incomes who are not prepared to reduce the cost of their own electricity and gas consumption by using direct debit?

Toilet rolls are also cheaper if bought in bulk. Maybe the Government should consider buying those in bulk too!

Unlawful Revenue Charges?

If the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) considers that banks charging more than £12 for making a late payment are "unlawful", does it consider that the £100 penalty for submitting an income tax self-assessment form after the January 31st deadline is also "unlawful"?

How refreshing!

A Judge is not cowered by the politically correct Gestapo and questions why a ten year old boy has been brought before his court for racially abusing another boy in the playground.

At what age does the judge consider that such abuse becomes unacceptable?

Party of the leafy suburbs

Who will represent people living in "leafy suburbs" if the Conservative Party plans to ignore them by seeking new support in urban areas?

Hard working immigrants

Figures published in 2001 showed that migrants generate 10% of UK GDP while representing only 8% of the UK population - Home Office spokeswoman.

Ethnic minority women face a "double whammy" of discrimination in the job market - TUC report

Can both reports be correct?

Footballing Liberties

Where are the howls of protest from Liberty for the civil rights of 4,000 Football hooligans who have to surrender their passports for the duration of the World Cup Final in Germany?

They are being banned for what they might do in the future.

Would Liberty take a more active interest if the hooligans came predominantly from a minority background?

Fingers off the pulse?

Why are Conservatives struggling to keep their collective finger on the pulse of the nation?

First, David Cameron attacks UKIP for being "fruitcakes and loonies and closet racists, mostly" when UKIP may reflect the views of 77% of the UK population beyond Notting Hill.

Secondly, the Conservative local election campaign are offering people the opportunity of fame and fortune by answering this question on video, "How would you improve your local environment"!

"How would you make the Conservative Party electable again?" would be more approriate.

Not suitable standards

How can the Foreign Office justify spending £17.5m on the private school fees for the children of UK based staff if local state schools are not of a "suitable standard" to quote Jack Straw? Labour has had nine years to ensure every state school has the highest standards.

Labour scrapped the excellent Assisted Places Scheme that helped children from poor backgrounds or whose parents were not officials at the Foreign Office attend schools of a "suitable standard" in 1997!

Teenage driver death toll

If the teenage motorist death rate is increasing, do they also represent an increasing risk to other non-teenage UK drivers?

How many of the deaths are caused by teenagers driving 'old bangers' rather than 5 star ENCAP rated vehicles?

Funding electoral fraud

If the major political parties and the Liberal Democrats decide they should be funded by £3 per vote cast in future, would it encourage or discourage electoral fraud!?!

A tale of two surveys

No BBC caveat is required when a survey of 1,004 people shows 74% of Londoners in favour of the Olympic Games being held here in 2012.

A BBC caveat is required when a survey of 2,000 people shows that 76% back an annual limit on immigration and 66% feel the government ignores the public's feelings on the issue.

If the survey is an accurate indicator of public opinion, then a large majority of people believe Britain is losing its own culture - BBC Home Affairs Correspondent Danny Shaw.

Organised CAOS

Will organised crime be quaking at the prospect of the newly formed Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) being on their case? It's unlikely.

Soca's success will not be measured in numbers of arrests, quantities of drugs seized or money confiscated as the result of fraud. Instead it will try to educate the public and use intelligence to spot trends.

Seeing double standards

When will free eye tests for all be introduced in England "to improve the health of all" when they are now free in Scotland?

MPs to strike?

Would anyone have noticed MPs on strike if their pension deficit not been reduced courtesy of the UK taxpayer?

April Fool?

The Sunday Times reports that the Environment Agency is to spend money promoting angling amongst Asian women and other ethnic minorities as angling is too white and too middle aged!

Thankfully, key workers at the Environment Agency do not need to strike to protect their pensions as they are secured through general taxation!