Sunday, March 01, 2009

Hot advice!

How much did it cost to advisors to decide that when it's extremely hot you should "swap suits for casual loose-fitting clothes, avoid hot food, drink lots of water and use fans."!?!

Perhaps they can tell me what I should do when it's cold!?!

They might even be working on it now...


Alfie said...

When it's cold you should:
1) Stay in bed.
2) If you have to go out, do remember to 'wrap up warm'.
3) If you have to drive, take a spade with you.
4) Plus several packs of baco foil rolls.
5) Plus 10 lbs of Kendal Mint Cake (extra-hot Madras Curry Flavour is best)
6) Plus a St Bernard Dog with a 5 gallon barrel of brandy attached to his collar.
7) And finally, don't forget to stick one of those very fashionable and rather ethnic wooly hats with those nice tassley things dangling atop your head. And do make sure your hat is a proper job - it must have been knitted by one of those rather butch, tobacco chewing, Bolivian women).

Now, can I have my 100,000 grand consultation fee?

Snafu said...

Alfie, you do yourself a dis-service, you have forgotten the pension!

Mark Wadsworth said...

When it is cold, you should swap casual loose-fitting clothes for suits, avoid cold food, drink as little water as possible and avoid using fans. Obvious when you think about it.

And I've got first dibs on Alfie's unclaimed pension.