Child poverty forever.

How many of the 5.5m children "living in, or on the brink of poverty" have parents who can afford to drink and smoke!?!

Who is responsible for "lifting" Karen Matthews' family out of poverty when she has had seven children by five different fathers?

Government targets for reducing child poverty should focus on discouraging the feckless and work shy from having more and more children rather than paying them more and more.

Policing the Police?

How do Police ensure their vans are not used unofficially!?!

Bradford & Bungley

If the Government wants to protect the taxpayer from the recent nationalisation of Bradford & Bingley, will it let HMRC cross reference it's tax records with Bradford & Bingley's self-certified and buy-to-let mortgages!?!

"Bradford & Bingley was the biggest buy-to-let lender through its subsidiary Mortgage Express."

Millennium Bug 2?

Are fears of total economic collapse following the rejection of a $700bn bail-out package spread by the same people who feared the millennium bug!?!

Chinese walls

Why will it take at least three years for Britain to stop sending aid to China when they can afford to send three astronauts into space for a spacewalk and spend £20bn on the Olympics!?!

When will China start sending aid to Britain!?!

Barber's message

"Today's figures show that unemployment is starting to accelerate and it now looks very likely that total unemployment will reach two million during 2009" - TUC General Secretary Brendan Barber, 17th September 2008.

"It is entirely predictable that some employer groups will say that the minimum wage increase will threaten jobs, yet it has helped millions without significant job losses." - TUC General Secretary Brendan Barber, 28th September 2008.

Are two million unemployed people insignificant!?!

Foreign ID cards

How many foreign nationals will show keep an ID card that says "No public funds" when seeking NHS treatment, council housing, welfare benefits or a National Insurance number!?!

No doubt the contractors delivering ID cards will be doing everything they can to deliver and invoice for as much as possible before Labour are kicked out of office!

"[Home Office Minister Meg Hillier] also said the scheme might be too far advanced for the Tories to "unpick" if they came to power in 2010."

Crime pays

If a benefit cheat is expected to repay the state £10,000 by paying £10 per week for the next twenty years, can I borrow £100,000 from the state on the same terms!?!

Ruth Kelly Resignation

Is Ruth Kelly resigning "to spend more time with her family" or so her son can spend more time at private schools!?!

He would remain at the £15,000-a-year private school for "a couple of years before he begins at a state secondary school".

Good news!

Scrapping prescription charges for English cancer patients will mean they have more money to pay for hospital parking fees unlike cancer patients in Scotland or Wales where parking is free!

Laissez-faire

Would the French Government ever let a British company buy a French energy company!?!

Let them surf!

When people are asked how Labour can help them through the present financial crisis, how many say that "home internet access for all children" is what they need!?!

"Families, who have been identified by local schools as having no access, will be able to apply for vouchers of up to £700 pound so they can get online."

One family that doesn't need internet access, the Matthews...

Captive market!

Prison call costs 'need review'

Gordon the cat!

LONG ago, the mice had a general council to consider what measures they could take to outwit their common enemy, the Cat. Some said this, and some said that; but at last a young mouse got up and said he had a proposal to make, which he thought would meet the case. “You will all agree,” said he, “that our chief danger consists in the sly and treacherous manner in which the enemy approaches us. Now, if we could receive some signal of her approach, we could easily escape from her. I venture, therefore, to propose that a small bell be procured, and attached by a ribbon round the neck of the Cat. By this means we should always know when she was about, and could easily retire while she was in the neighbourhood.

This proposal met with general applause, until an old mouse got up and said: “That is all very well, but who is to bell the Cat?” The mice looked at one another and nobody spoke. Then the old mouse said:

“IT IS EASY TO PROPOSE IMPOSSIBLE REMEDIES.”

Gordon's bonus?

If Gordon Brown's salary was based on "long term performance" rather than "short term deals", how much would he be earning!?!

UK unemployment total rises again

Consumer inflation rises to 4.7%

Northern Rock expands state debt

National minimum unemployment!

As unemployment rises at it's fastest rate since December 1992, is it still prudent to increase the national minimum wage 3.8% from October this year!?!

Of stable doors and bolted horses

Why didn't Gordon Brown "clean up" the financial system when he was Chancellor and the foundations of the credit crunch were being layed!?!

Would Lehmans, HBOS or Northern Rock have welcomed increased regulation five years ago when their business models were so profitable!?!

Number Crunching

42% - The "Falkands Effect" on Mrs. Thatcher's share of the vote in 1983.

52% - The "Gordon Brown Effect" on David Cameron's current popularity!

Night of the long paperclips!

Will reducing the time taken to record a crime increase the number of crimes recorded!?!

Every cloud has a silver lining!

How long did it take the BBC to find a photo of Wall Street traders including an American of African descent!?!